More and more randoms are flocking like sheep to the perimeters of Lux Airport. Officials are baffled. One offered, "I'm pretty sure its not to mark the Solstice or the beginning of Spring. This strange phenomenon picked up sharply just after we lowered the free parking time from 30 to 15 minutes. But why?"
Drivers generally sit in a state of concentration and silence, much as if birdwatching or hunting. Their attention is fairly evenly divided between the rear view mirror and the (generally stationary) police vehicles by the airport's main doors.
The Splice's own research revealed a slightly lower than normal level of dogging and drug dealing, hence is also at a loss for an explanation.
Delhaize officials have issued a Press Release stating that their minus 2 car parks will now be recognized only as racetracks. Reminded that they are not the first to do this, one official responded "It will not be a Mad Max style orgy or Lord of the Flies type thing that Cactus has going on. We're going to install picnic areas and have someone selling plastic flags and hats. The starting girls will be wearing bloomers."
A Cactus spokesperson countered, "As soon as we clock off its a no-man's land, we don't care what they do. The same way we ignore our car park usage during opening times."
A Lidl Regional Manager offered "We employ these kind of degenerates, we're not letting them and their stinky friends colonize the fucking car parks too."
Commuters and cheap fuel seekers will soon have to pass through the 1960's time warp that is Parc Merveilleux. Instead of bothering to redesign and reinvigorate the nasty little place, Luxembourg will force the punters through.
The Department responsible issued the following statement, "Think of it as the world's first high speed safari. You get to see different animals everytime and avoid those eerie animatronic puppets we inexplicably keep. We believe that 10 euros is a small token price to pay before you heathens stuff your trunks with thousands of coffee pads and cigarettes. With the bi-monthly train strikes we will absolutely rake it in, plus after the new toll booths in Thionville are installed people will be happy to stop and pay again once in Luxembourg."