What's happening at school for the last couple of months or so has been a car crash, let's face it. Here's a thoughtful guide to getting you through the rest:
It is not a question of when, but which statues to to rip down in Luxembourg.
Obviously King William II, from the Place Guillaume II. He was involved in wars and stuff. Plus he was also a well known bullshitter.
What about Gelle Fra? Any skeletons in her closet? Better rip her down just in case.
Melusina? That little whore is not a good example to kids.
"She was almost certainly a Nazi sympathizer," said our trusty Gvt. bod. Claude Klules.
Plans are already underway to build a giant statue of "The Unknown Frontalier," to commemorate the return of the one person-one car army.
"It is also to celebrate the massive outpouring of funds from the GD to neighbouring countries that isn't appreciated," added Klules.
Luxembourg's fast food chains will not be issuing a statement (read: apology) as their UK equivalents are currently doing.
The rep for whichever faceless franchise own all of them said, "No. Unlike the UK outlets who are asking for a little patience during the slow reopening process, we will just keep giving slow, rude and below par service."
"Isn't now the perfect time to rethink the policies?" we returned.
The rep sighed. "If you want a decent KFC you gotta go to Maastricht."
"Fuck all is gonna change here."