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Soon you can wear your original mask again

6/7/2022

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Soon masks are not mandated and you must go back to looking full-on at each other's smug faces.  This handy survival guide should bring you back into the swing of things:

  1. Start Shaving Again - You're not working from home everyday.  You cannot walk around on all fours while looking like Tom Hanks in Castaway.
  2. Keep Brushing Your Teeth - Just because you can't smell last night's Biryani in your mask, doesn't mean your colleagues can't smell it on your breath.  Buy a decent toothbrush since your current one was bought before the Euro came in.
  3. Upgrade Your Downtime - The people stuffed inside the tram with you can see your manic face AND that you are playing Candy Crush.  Read a fucking book or a newspaper.
  4. Pretend - If your insecurity gets the better of you, why not pretend you have a phone call - and then bang on about how you worked on a game-changing new project all night, like those Amazon wankers do.
  5. Turn over a New Leaf - Here's a thought. Boldly move on from these mask-less jitters and stop being a cunt.  For example, when you arrive at work don't jam the espresso machine and back stab your colleagues over an email, that deep down, you don't even fucking understand.
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