The Mouse House has turned it's greedy gaze to the lawless Eurotrash shanty town that Luxembourgers call the Schuberfouer.
Not content with monopolizing every digital platform known to man and apparently destroying the Star Wars universe or whatever, (the Splice doesn't care) their sanitary equipment is focused on this peculiar piece of Grand Ducal eccentricity.
A Disney rep said "This place hoovers up Euros faster than Greece! We'll write a blank check to Mr Schuberfouer right now."
"Then we can get to work on fumigating and sterilizing the place."
One of the grease monkeys at the Glacis replied however, "These pussies can't see us! We own castles all over Europe - real ones. In fact we're gonna do a disappearing act in hundreds of directions later this week as soon as several transfers get cleared."
"Tell them 'Mr Schuberfouer' isn't taking calls right now. Morons."
Before sharply hanging up, the Disney Rep said "We won't play around, we'll just buy Luxembourg. We can easily move Euro Disney from the great undeserving city where it is now."
The great unspoken concept of car-pooling was flatly rejected by the dreadfully high number of commuters who grace Luxembourg with their daily presence.
The hateful silence of tens of thousands overwhelmingly dentotes to the Lux Splice that to have a car pool lane enforced during peak hours is far too much of a sensible idea.
Jean-something, a flag waving member of the one-person-one-car army said, "Car sharing is all you need. Nobody I know does it but it exists, therefore it works."
"The monorail idea touted in the 90's by a now mostly retired class of politicians has died an unheralded death and they've kindly left us with an infrastructure fit for that period. Thanks."
Not Polish people. Poles stuck in the ground with flashing lights on top.
Grand Ducal Police have decided that they all want a holiday. Together. Just as soon as the Schuberfouer shifts its extortion racket somewhere else.
Once such Mersch-based Officer leaked to the Splice, “Traffic incidents should reduce dramatically, well until people realize that our replacements are just a very clever ruse.”
“All other more serious types of crime tend to take place in the South of the country anyway. Therefore my hands are clean.”
A Petange-based Officer also added his two cents. “When the French and Belgian cops fly across our borders without warning, we simply won’t be there to complain to each other about it. Then before you know it the perps will be in the North of the country or even Germany.”
If the scheme proves as successful as hoped, it will be rolled out more regularly, for example in sensible places where a €200K speed camera will never be justified.
At the time of going to press fitting a policeman's cap on top of the poles was suggested.