The full route of a Strassen 'Japanese' restuarant's sushi train has been uncovered.

The impressive construction goes under the Route d'Arlon, resurfaces behind Conforama and completes a U-turn inside the Cactus rejected food department.

A disgruntled worker also revealed, "The Cactus lackeys squeeze rice, fish and avocado with their pudgy fingers and put it on the belt.  They don't know where its going and they've been told by higher powers not to ask."

"We sprinkle a few sesame seeds now and then and out they go to the punters.  For the best part of twenty euros."

A not-so-disgruntled worker said, "What!  This train goes no further than the kitchen where staff with non-fake visas create works of art from the freshest ingredients." 

"Are you going to buy a six euro bottle of mineral water or not?"

Tom Grageingwell, a Consultant added, "I'd rather just not know.  Its this or Pizza Hut."

Please see beneath procedure if you are looking to register a 'foreign' car in Luxembourg:

1. Buy a car in a foreign country
2. Brag to anyone who will listen about how much cheaper it is
3. Pay tax on it
4. Go to the SNCA to register it by completing the following:

• Run down a steep tunnel with a boulder rolling behind you
• Watch 12 hours of film about why buying cars in Luxembourg is a better idea (with your eyes pinned open)
• Bring back evidence that the lost city of Atlantis exists
• Tattoo the Chassis number on your face so that the Agent can definitely note it

​
Then:

1. Go abroad, pick up your vehicle and enjoy several years of driving
   
2. Continue paying the salary of the unhelpful shitbag you were dealing with

The listless and seemingly forgotten residential area hidden behind the main drag in Findel is being rebranded.

Home to a defunct playground, an overgrown traffic island and crumbling brick terraced housing, it is a perfect replica of a UK slum.

Klaude Klules, the politician behind the idea, said "Its eerie and rundown.  There is a car on breeze blocks.  We're interviewing some multilingual hoodies right now to intimidate and occasionally rob the inhabitants."

"Of course we will build a convenience store where they can become drunk and abusive."

Asked why on earth anyone would have this idea, woe betide have it green-lit, he replied "We've got our poncey schools, cricket clubs and Embassy snobs.  In honour of Brexit why not show the other half." 

Lux doesn't have a KFC because of a secret Benelux pact.  

A tip off from a Dutch whistleblower helped to blow the lid on this.

Claude Klules revealed, "We need more Luxembourg plates in Maastricht, and this is how we do it.  If not then boom!  We're flooded with Belgians."

A KFC spokesman added, "You can go to Longwy or Thionville for shit versions of our food and even shitter service.  But deep down you know Holland is where its at."

A campsite owner in Mullerthal confirmed the second half of the deal. 

"Bombarded with Dutch we are!  They spend pretty much fuck all when they're here but they do come."

​"Like flies on shit."