Area opposite airport to become Council Estate Land

The listless and seemingly forgotten residential area hidden behind the main drag in Findel is being rebranded.

Home to a defunct playground, an overgrown traffic island and crumbling brick terraced housing, it is a perfect replica of a UK slum.

Klaude Klules, the politician behind the idea, said "Its eerie and rundown.  There is a car on breeze blocks.  We're interviewing some multilingual hoodies right now to intimidate and occasionally rob the inhabitants."

"Of course we will build a convenience store where they can become drunk and abusive."

Asked why on earth anyone would have this idea, woe betide have it green-lit, he replied "We've got our poncey schools, cricket clubs and Embassy snobs.  In honour of Brexit why not show the other half."