BREAKING: Woman/Statue/Robot Moves

The woman on the tram with the Hermes scarf initiated a movement last Friday. Recorded time 08:23.
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​Eyewitness Luca Galafassi nearly shit himself. "I nearly shit myself!" he said. "She picked up her gloves from the next seat by moving only her arm at the elbow. Not even her eyes."

"Something I thought was an elaborate work of art fucking moved and I'm deeply unsettled." He switched trams at this point explaining how he was going to ask for some days off sick.

A second commuter, Jean-Paul Bichelot, a smelly individual who routinely stands in the pram and disabled sections added, "I suspected she was one of those second-gen sex robots, a classy version. Probably one that only takes credit cards."

Luxtram refused to allow access to any CCTV to prove any of this, however another Kirchberg-bound worker, Tom Grageingwell came forward.

"More than the usual amount of people got on at Theatre and she picked up her gloves, but still left the 'L'Occitane' bag there. Can't say if it's the origin of an act of courtesy or they are merely a fucking expensive pair of gloves."

​"No wait, that must be it. She works in our Legal Department and she's a right bitch."