Clicking Behaviour Explained

A sudden speeding up of clicks in the office is not your colleagues experiencing an energy boost for their current task. 

Lux Uni Researcher Pascal Essenkeks broke the bad news early today. 

“Yes, unfortunately, after a twelve year study we concluded that these random upsurges in an office worker’s mouse clicking and keyboard tapping is driven by blind hope for a messianic  intervention.”

“This ranges from a lottery win, to a dream holiday, right down to a compulsion to start an electrical fire.”

Pascal has published his findings on these key behaviours studied along with his best description thereof.  He has been kind enough to share an excerpt exclusively with the Splice:

Rhythmic Clicker -                                  Generally shopping.  Leave them alone, they will                                                                          bite.
Arrhythmic Clicker -                            People switching between one excel and a myriad                                                                       of internet windows.  Generally safe to approach –                                                                      they can minimize Internet Explorer at the sound of                                                                    a  butterfly 50 metres away.
Random Double Clickers -                  These people are actually working.  This takes place                                                                   during a dedicated 20 minute window every day.                                                                          Please leave them alone at this time.
Smashing Mouse on desk -             Don’t make eye contact.  Calmly leave the room ASAFP.
Incessant Keyboard tappers -         Gossipers constantly yakking on IM programs or                                                                          Linkedin.  A sadistic beating or a car ‘accident’ are the                                                                 best ways of dealing with these.