Don't lie. Where you work is a toxic minefield, that only your overpaid salary justifies working in.
Just how toxic is it? Check it out... 1) A constructive complaint comes in, copying upper management. What happens? A - The very same upper management scream and shout without reading it properly. B - The email bounces around like a pinball until someone deals with it. C - Upper Management summon a small task force and the issue is dealt with in a matter of weeks. 2) How often are the following cringeworthy statements sent your way? "Can we have a little chat in the Meeting Room ?". Or, "Quick question..." A - Sorry, can't talk in one of those cringy meeting now... B - Only occasionally by the odd asshole from another Team. C - Never, our grown-up Management treats us like human beings. 3) A comment was overheard by a known backstabber. How far away is that person sitting from you? A - That person?! I'm surrounded by the cunts. B - About 5 metres, there's a chance not all was heard. C - No probs, its a temp who doesn't even speak English. 4) Right now, your 'Manager' is... A - Wondering who you are. B - Looking for someone to blame for the latest snafu. C - With you every step of the way. 5) Human Resources are: A - A ragtag bunch of ex-recruitment agents who hate each other. B - Plotting just enough firings to avoid a social plan. C - A really helpful, supportive group. Who answer your questions. If you have answered: Mostly A's - Poison as many people as you can in your next round of croissants. Mostly B's - Most of us live here, grin and bear it. Mostly C's - You've landed a great gig or you are a liar. In the latter case, why don't you open this Consultancy Company you keep fucking talking about?
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