The one and true Luxembourg Lockdown survery has landed! Get to it.
1. How are you coping overall under these conditions?
A) I'm in psychosis.
B) I like it, should always be like this.
C) Helps no end with my yoga.
2. Has the Luxembourg government done enough?
A) Please, they wait until two or all three neighbouring countries do something, then quickly roll out their own facsimile.
B) Are the speed cameras switched off?
C) Yes, their leadership is a beacon of light to the world.
3. Who are you personally blaming for the spread of coronavirus?
A) Every single Chinese person on earth.
B) Westerners flouting all the so-called 'rules'.
C) I'm not. I am staying open minded about this.
4. How is working from home?
A) Bullshit. I don't get overtime so I am watching six hours of TV every day.
B) I only need to look at my po-faced colleagues for 30 minutes per day.
C) I can make things work with my own personal hardware, its amazing!
5. How has your family dynamic changed?
A) I don't know. I've been locked in the basement for eight days.
B) The one who shall be obeyed is the one true god.
C) We are blessed that we know each other and our equally shallow children even better.
6. What have you learned?
A) All of my neighbours are cunts.
B) I've wasted my life.
C) I can re-connect with myself, learn at my own pace and broaden my horizons.
7. What have you found?
A) What? Besides all the knackered toys my kids refuse to throw away?
B) That I like looking at Thai lady boys more than I thought.
C) Something I thought was lost forever!
If you answered Mostly A:
You are sadly in the majority, make yourself disappear for good.
You live under the radar, do something mental.
Fuck right off - you are definitely an A or a B.