The SREL needs to be told when to take a shit apparently.
Boss of the service, Claude Klules explained "Contrary to what people say, I'm sure we could find a rat in a shithouse if we wanted to."
Asked why criminals run riot in Luxembourg, he scoffed "Please! We run a raft of measures such as cutting holes in newspapers to watch suspects and our Teams move in on them in comical zig-zag formations."
"Plus a lot of perps drive straight through our country so we just need to look the other way."
"Is there anything you are working on to modernize the service?" we asked.
"Since last year we've run a course in telling your asshole from your elbow... We have a 65 per cent pass rate," he said smugly folding his arms.