Lux doesn't have a KFC because of a secret Benelux pact.
A tip off from a Dutch whistleblower helped to blow the lid on this.
Claude Klules revealed, "We need more Luxembourg plates in Maastricht, and this is how we do it. If not then boom! We're flooded with Belgians."
A KFC spokesman added, "You can go to Longwy or Thionville for shit versions of our food and even shitter service. But deep down you know Holland is where its at."
A campsite owner in Mullerthal confirmed the second half of the deal.
"Bombarded with Dutch we are! They spend pretty much fuck all when they're here but they do come."
"Like flies on shit."