PLAIN CLOTHED TICKET INSPECTORS POUNCE!

Without warning, Agents dressed like French IT workers panicked a busload of commuters this week by jumping up and demanding proof of fare.  The driver noted, “Most passengers scooted to the middle doors like they always get out at the Josy Barthel Stadium.”

“Attempts to prize them open resulted in six people falling into a kind of human ball making it impossible for the next wave to even try.”

A Brit, Tom Grageingwell told the Splice “My effort to filibuster them by playing the language game lasted about 0.7 seconds.  Even showing my M-Kaart which expired in 2013 didn’t placate them in the slightest.   Why did I bother getting that special plastic wallet for it then?"  

"At least I didn't go for the doors, those people got beaten with sticks."

The Agents held their own throughout, facing such gems as; “This is illegal in my country!”  “You wouldn’t act like this in first class!” and “Fuck you, I won’t do what you tell me!”

Concerned by these scare tactics, the Splice was mortified to learn of the following plans the Luxembourg government has:

• Staff of Cactus, Auchan and Delhaize will check to see if customers are sneakily also shopping at Aldi and Lidl.  Those shopping in neighbouring countries will have their Luxembourg residency stripped, and may even experience an ‘accident’ on the way home.
• Anyone openly complaining about the slow progress of the trams will be thrown into that underground train station at the airport until they can figure out what to do with it.

You’ve been warned dinguses.