"Oh, Luxembourg Wisconsin - never heard of it!"
"You all speak Flemish over there don't you?"
"Is the weather nice?"
We've all heard such gems at some point when we say we live in Luxembourg. The following zingers have been uttered by far-away landers. One was said by a resident - try to guess which one...
"How is it going over there in Belgium?"
"Luxembourg! Did you make that up?"
"That's where the guy headbutts the buses isn't it?"
"It's the biggest of the 1001 'bourgs in Europe."
"Its an unnecessarily protective country that suffers from warped commercial and infrastructure. The whole of the South could do with being bulldozed."
"It's disrespectful if you don't at least buy Luxlait or support the Bofferding family," said Eliza Hrusku while browsing in the Bitburg branch of DM.
"We chose to live in the Grand Duchy, so why not pay a bit more for a steak or even a car from Autopolis?"
Tom Grageingwell, (who works with Hrusku) confirmed, "Eliza never comes out since two people in the Team ordered a pint of Ramborn when it was her round."
"Lat time we had a social, she mumbled something about taking care of her elderly neighbours, got into her car bearing the licence plates from her home country and took off."
The tram line extension to the train station will not only be free for me and you, but also to our burgeoning criminal classes.
One of those kids who pretends to deaf and mute explains:
"We used to have to inconveniently make our way to Kirchberg or Staereplatz to unsettle and fleece people. Now we can jump on right by the Gare, sorry I mean the train station..."
"Obviously without cops and security it is open season."
Government Minister Claude Klules confirmed, "We had hoped that the tram project would force all the scum bags into Bonnevoie and beyond. This hasn't happened."
"Therefore, we have decided to install cash 'drop-boxes,' where you put a note and the thieving bastards can just take it and go, without bothering you further!"
As parents we all enjoy framing other people's kids, while at the same time painting ours as victims.
Well now there is an organization far more judgmental than the PTA (or whatever its called in Luxembourg) that skips to all the fun stuff!
This group does not discriminate on skin-colour, country of origin or anything else.
The only disclaimer is that without notice, you can become a target at any time.
Stuck-up housewife Bella explains, "Just bide your time. Be fake until something happens that you can get your teeth into."
"Pick an easy target, like a kid who scores better than yours, and spread their guilt about like wildfire! That way you can destroy a kid's reputation before their parents even know what happened."
"Obviously you don't work," we put to Bella. "What do you do all day except sharpen your pitchfork?"
"Drink blood and hang out at Belle Etoile," she replied.