The European Commission have drafted a Survey to track the behaviour of children.
The Splice has stolen a copy and here it is just for you: 1] PUBLIC TRANSPORT A - Your kids wait patiently in line for a bus and say hello to the driver. B - They stand morosely in the middle of the doorways. C - They shout down the entire length of the tram in a pathetic cry for help. 2] SCHOOL A - They work autonomously, except to come to you for help. B - Their physical attendance is 70%, mental attendance is 6.25%. C - Their 'homework' is video games on crystal meth. 3] MANNERS A - They say things like "More Riesling with your Gouda?" B - They leave toilets unflushed and laugh when you freak out about it. C - They give you the finger to your face. 4] DEMENOUR A - They pack themselves for whatever event they're heading to and leave you a nice note. B - They forget half their stuff and you have to leave work to get it to them on time. C - They get arrested for prostitution and the Police leave you a nice note. 5] SCHOOL TRIPS A - They organised it with the rest of the Audio Visual club. B - They ran off and got a taxi back, billing it to their school. C - They scream when crossing the threshold of a church or cathedral. 6] MOTIVATION A - They declare their love for you when accepting their Duke of Edinburgh awards. B - They disown you, but keep the credit card you gave them. C - They stare at you through the kitchen window. Mostly A's: They need to LIVE now. Take them out of their bubble and join the rest of the world. Mostly B's: They need the occasional hosing down but they'll make it. Mostly C's: Lock them up and exorcise them NOW. Then introduce them to a venemous fish.
1 Comment
7/26/2019 15:19:38
All floors are cold. There is simply no argument in there anymore. We can all agree that floors are cold. If you don't believe me, why don't you try removing your sleepers. If you are still not convinced, why don't you try touching the floor with your cheeks? Believe it or not, I already did that twice in this lifetime. The first time it happened, I was so drunk. The second time I was so tired from work. So I wasn't tired inside. It was fun really.
Reply
Leave a Reply. |
Archives
June 2022
|