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The Best of the Rest

12/10/2018

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Cannabis and free transport, blah blah, yak yak yak.
 
The Splice has obtained the part of the coalition plan that was not made public.  The best of these leaks are summarized beneath:

  • To build another major highway from both ends but leave a gap in the middle for at least 20 years.
  • To buy 46 more helicopters for Luxembourg Air Rescue.
  • To place more speed cameras which only fine people from neighbouring countries and continue to have Carmageddon in residential streets.
  • Continue to have no KFCs.
  • Run bulldozers from Rodange and wrecking balls from Mondorf.  See who can raze the most!  Maybe some Apache helicopters just for a laugh as well.
  • To try and actually apprehend some burglars before they disappear back over the borders
  • To make more futile attempts towards cheaper taxis.
  • Put UK citizens in stocks and have smug EU citizens throw fruit and veg at them.  Construct separate bathrooms and public transport for them.
  • To decriminalize the breeding of venomous fish for the express purpose of smacking people.
  • Squeeze more people on the 222 bus just to see how feral these bustards can get.  Again just for a laugh.

​True Story.
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