Walking in an Orange Wonderland

Technicians from a telecommunications company which shall remain nameless opened up a whole new world for a patient consumer yesterday morning.

“They were different to the shining, smiley people in the shop,” said mother-to-be Matylda Huzku.  The Merl resident was at a loss for words when her scheduled internet installation did not go as easily as the initial sale did.

“They parked diagonally across the driveway and pounded on the door.  I was left standing there holding the paper I was supposed to show them.  One bolted into my apartment on all fours and the other disappeared into the basement.”

“It was probably to get me set up with wifi as soon as possible.”

“Jack-booted Stormtroopers?!"   a Client Service Bod spluttered to the Splice.  “Our technicians take the greatest care to answer your questions and make the whole process as painless as possible.”

“The one ransacking my wardrobe screamed yes when I asked if he wanted an espresso.” said Husku.  “I chose to leave it there given he was foaming at the mouth.”

Another resident added, “I heard god-awful clanging and satanic laughter so I went downstairs.  The guy had wrenched open all the control boxes and was fusing the cables together in his mouth.  I guess Matylda will have to reschedule.”