Working Disappointment

A bilingual frontalier is sad that his English colleague speaks differently to how he writes his emails.  Florian Dubois, a resident of Lorraine who is actually not lying by putting ENGLISH : FLUENT on his CV, is sad that his teammate Jo Buttons uses flair in written but not spoken form.
 
Florian detailed, “He bought me a mug saying ‘Fuck Mondays’ because I booked some trades for him when he had to leave early once.  The conversation never really picked up from there.”
 
“He writes about how a new Fund subscription is ‘Kafkaesque’ or how a conference call leader is ‘Machiavellian.’  But when I ask him about it, he just says things like ‘Alright boy?’ and ‘How are you doin’ ya fucker?’”
 
“I studied James Joyce and Daniel Dafoe during my year abroad in Dublin.”
 
Buttons sighed, “Yeah sure, he actually isn't a lying bastard on his CV.  I gave him a mug, what the fuck does he want?” 
 
He lapsed into quite a long thousand-yard stare, then grimaced.
 
“He touches my leg sometimes.”